So last week I brought you “How to Acronym Your Way to Becoming a Happy Wife“. It seems only fair to do the same for our husbands!
I continue the same use of the word “happy” as before and added my own add lib for “husband”.
I continue to urge you to check out Arlene Pellicane at: http://www.arlenepellicane.com
Now some of these might seem reverse but you see from my earlier post that husbands truly do, at their core, want to make their wives happy; which in turn makes them happy.
H-opeful-keeping a positive outlook and always hoping for the best in a situation and in your partner.
A-daptable-keeping your options open and flexible (with limits!-you shouldn’t be bending every direction ALL the time
P-urposeful– know that you have a reason, a purpose and are important, not only in your marriage; but in your life.
P-ositive– Don’t allow yourself to become negative…in your outlook or in your thoughts; about your husband, your marriage, life or even when dealing with your kids.
Y-ielded, While it might be hard to swallow; the Bible does mention this…but I believe it goes both ways. I really like the term MUTUAL submission; always holding the other in higher regard than yourself.
H-onesty -Wives want their husband to be truthful to them in ALL..err.. MOST things and I venture to say that guys have a pretty good compass on what those issues are. Having faith in her husband is easy if a wife really has no reason not to trust and believe you. Honesty feels good, not only to you but to her as well.
U-nderstanding- Taking the time to truly try to see where your wife is coming from when she is talking with you. I know a lot of men tend to see things very differently than women, and both views aren’t “wrong”, it is just a different perspective. Give your wife the benefit of the doubt and stay open to what she says… a lot of times we are smarter than you may think…even though we think differently than you.
S-elflessness-I know a lot of women who bend over backwards for their husbands and their kids, though it doesn’t seem like the husband is quite as bendable. This plays hand in hand with the “Y” from “happy”. More often than not a wife is yielding to your wants, try to do the same; mutual submission, always keeping the other in higher regard than yourself.
B-etter yourself- that means take some time for the gym, to READ a book or read my blog ( 😀 ). Those efforts help exercise, not only your body but your brain as well. No woman (a good woman…) wants to be married to a man that might die at 40 because he isn’t taking care of himself and reading a book gives you something to talk to your wife about (maybe try one she suggests perhaps?)! Try reading the same one together and discuss it together; this gives you something to look forward to other than talking about the kids and their activities!
A-ttention-lavish attention, take an interest in what interests HER. I understand that everyone needs their “zone out time”… I am sitting in my empty quiet house as I type…but try to devote some attention to your wife (other than playfully tapping her on the butt as you walk by as she cooks your dinner-trust me she probably finds it annoying). We want to know that you find us interesting without our boobs or butts being involved (free tip: doing so helps facilitate involving those two things later…if you catch my drift). Sitting down and giving us your attention while we talk about the day, vent (give us a 5 minute cap on that….) or ask for your advice or help (because we want you to be our hero so we will ask for your help) let’s us know that what we have to say is at least somewhat important to you and being able to verbally engage in conversation about the topics at hand leads us to believe you are actually… LISTENING.
N-ot your job-sometimes we need you to listen and not solve… and this might seem a little counterintuitive to what I previously said but sometimes in that “attention”, that will be all we need; just your ears’ attention. It might be hard to discern what we need from you and I think it is ok to ask (in a no judging manner) if we really want you to help or just need you to listen. If we are being honest with ourselves we will be able to tell you exactly which we need at the time.
D-ependable- Remember what I said about being our “hero”? That applies to every day life. Swooping in occasionally and “saving the day” is great….and I know some that will gloat about those singular moments for months. However, it isn’t really the things you do occasionally that mean the most. It is the things you do daily; without fail because you KNOW we depend on it and we depend on you.
I know my husband will go to work because he knows we depend on him. I know my husband will help me at the gym because I depend on him to. I lean on him daily because he has shown me that I can and I can trust him to be dependable. If he says he will do something, he will….eventually; though sometimes I have to remind myself it may not be on what I consider a timely manner…which goes back the wives acronym and the letter “F” (having faith).
These things are all “construction zone” things and it’s pretty much like road work in Oklahoma; it’s never done. While perfection is never achieved, each day we get is a gift and a privilege to work towards our own little version of it. Some days are epic fails (I think I might be in the middle of a epic fail WEEK myself) but if both husband and wife are continually striving and keeping these simple things in mind, having a bad week or a bad day won’t diminish the longevity of a happy marriage.
To The Happy Couple!