How to be a Happy Husband… a Wife’s take.

So last week I brought you “How to Acronym Your Way to Becoming a Happy Wife“. It seems only fair to do the same for our husbands!

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I continue the same use of the word “happy” as before and added my own add lib for “husband”.

I continue to urge you to check out Arlene Pellicane at: http://www.arlenepellicane.com

Now some of these might seem reverse but you see from my earlier post that husbands truly do, at their core, want to make their wives happy; which in turn makes them happy.

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Men might think this post is a little unfair, sorry guys-you have more letters in your title!


H-opeful-keeping a positive outlook and always hoping for the best in a situation and in your partner.


A-daptable-keeping your options open and flexible (with limits!-you shouldn’t be bending every direction ALL the time

P-urposeful– know that you have a reason, a purpose and are important, not only in your marriage; but in your life.

P-ositive– Don’t allow yourself to become negative…in your outlook or in your thoughts; about your husband, your marriage, life or even when dealing with your kids.

Y-ielded, While it might be hard to swallow; the Bible does mention this…but I believe it goes both ways. I really like the term MUTUAL submission; always holding the other in higher regard than yourself.  


H-onesty -Wives want their husband to be truthful to them in ALL..err.. MOST things and I venture to say that guys have a pretty good compass on what those issues are. Having faith in her husband is easy if a wife really has no reason not to trust and believe you. Honesty feels good, not only to you but to her as well.


U-nderstanding- Taking the time to truly try to see where your wife is coming from when she is talking with you. I know a lot of men tend to see things very differently than women, and both views aren’t “wrong”, it is just a different perspective. Give your wife the benefit of the doubt and stay open to what she says… a lot of times we are smarter than you may think…even though we think differently than you.


S-elflessness-I know a lot of women who bend over backwards for their husbands and their kids, though it doesn’t seem like the husband is quite as bendable. This plays hand in hand with the “Y” from “happy”. More often than not a wife is yielding to your wants, try to do the same; mutual submission, always keeping the other in higher regard than yourself.


B-etter yourself- that means take some time for the gym, to READ a book or read my blog ( 😀  ). Those efforts help exercise, not only your body but your brain as well. No woman (a good woman…) wants to be married to a man that might die at 40 because he isn’t taking care of himself and reading a book gives you something to talk to your wife about (maybe try one she suggests perhaps?)! Try reading the same one together and discuss it together; this gives you something to look forward to other than talking about the kids and their activities!


A-ttention-lavish attention, take an interest in what interests HER. I understand that everyone needs their “zone out time”… I am sitting in my empty quiet house as I type…but try to devote some attention to your wife (other than playfully tapping her on the butt as you walk by as she cooks your dinner-trust me she probably finds it annoying). We want to know that you find us interesting without our boobs or butts being involved (free tip: doing so helps facilitate involving those two things later…if you catch my drift). Sitting down and giving us your attention while we talk about the day, vent (give us a 5 minute cap on that….) or ask for your advice or help (because we want you to be our hero so we will ask for your help) let’s us know that what we have to say is at least somewhat important to you and being able to verbally engage in conversation about the topics at hand leads us to believe you are actually… LISTENING.


N-ot your job-sometimes we need you to listen and not solve… and this might seem a little counterintuitive to what I previously said but sometimes in that “attention”, that will be all we need; just your ears’ attention. It might be hard to discern what we need from you and I think it is ok to ask (in a no judging manner) if we really want you to help or just need you to listen. If we are being honest with ourselves we will be able to tell you exactly which we need at the time.


D-ependable- Remember what I said about being our “hero”? That applies to every day life. Swooping in occasionally and “saving the day” is great….and I know some that will gloat about those singular moments for months. However, it isn’t really the things you do occasionally that mean the most. It is the things you do daily; without fail because you KNOW we depend on it and we depend on you.

I know my husband will go to work because he knows we depend on him. I know my husband will help me at the gym because I depend on him to. I lean on him daily because he has shown me that I can and I can trust him to be dependable. If he says he will do something, he will….eventually; though sometimes I have to remind myself it may not be on what I consider a timely manner…which goes back the wives acronym and the letter “F” (having faith). 

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construction zone

These things are all “construction zone” things and it’s pretty much like road work in Oklahoma; it’s never done. While  perfection is never achieved, each day we get is a gift and a privilege to work towards our own little version of it. Some days are epic fails (I think I might be in the middle of a epic fail WEEK myself) but if both husband and wife are continually striving and keeping these simple things in mind, having a bad week or a bad day won’t diminish the longevity of a happy marriage.

This picture truly does sum up how I feel about my husband.

This picture truly does sum up how I feel about my husband.

To The Happy Couple!

Liz Jackson

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Acronym Your Way to Becoming a Happy Wife!

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I seem to be on a “let’s make life happier” kick these days! Maybe I am dealing with myself on that topic more than I like to admit but either way, a fringe benefit of that work is my inability to keep it to myself and since I am in the habit of throwing myself under the bus for your enjoyment I might as well keep the trend!

I was listening to a podcast (that is coming out my mouth more and more often these days…) from Focus on the Family the other morning and the guest was a writer named Arlene Pellicane.

Arlene has released a book(s) called “31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife” and more recently “31 Days to Becoming a Happy Husband”.

I love books like this and I enjoyed the podcast very much! You can listen to it here: http://radio.focusonthefamily.ca/guests/arlene-pellicane

Arlene utilizes an Acronym in the book and on the Podcast called H-A-P-P-Y and as I listened I could feel myself itching to expand it further and that is what I have done. I have taken her original and pushed a little further to bring you the acronym:

H-A-P-P-Y  W-I-F-E.

Don’t worry, to be fair I am working up H-A-P-P-Y H-U-S-B-A-N-D; you’ll have it next week!

You can find Arlene’s books here:

arlenepellicane.com

Starting with Arlene’s acronym below we have HAPPY.

  I have given you my interpretations of her chosen words and paraphrase her line of thinking and add a dash of my own, but I encourage you to dig further into HER definitions because I think each of our interpretations of the words will be different based on the different life experiences we filter through.

H-opeful-keeping a positive outlook and always hoping for the best in a situation and in your partner.

A-daptable- keeping your options open and flexible (with limits!-you shouldn’t be bending every direction ALL the time)

P-urposeful- know that you have a reason, a purpose and are important, not only in your marriage; but in your life.

P-ositive- Don’t allow yourself to become negative…in your outlook or in your thoughts; about your husband, your marriage, life or even when dealing with your kids.

Y-yielded-While it might be hard to swallow; the Bible does mention this…but I believe it goes both ways. I really like the term MUTUAL submission; always holding the other in higher regard than yourself.

l love these, they are short and sweet (both things I struggle with…) and I truly think it helps you stay focused on your marriage and keeping it as healthy as possible; which we all know takes work!

But in the spirit of expanding our limits (and pushing the “KISS” acronym away), let’s go further with: WIFE

W-illingness- being willing to trust, love, accept and keep an open mind (and open arms) to your husband.

I-nspire- Let your husband know that you think he is the best! Give him reason to want to impress you, help you and work hard for you and PRAISE him for those things. THANK him for the things he does, just by doing so you will push him to better himself…because he wants to be his best FOR YOU.

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F-aith- TRUST and have faith in your husband’s abilities and intensions; always believing the best of both.

E-xercise- Taking care of your body to help build your personal confidence and make you feel well overall so you can deal better with the stresses of life and better facilitate the previous 8 letters of this acronym.

These are all things I have dealt with myself on and I am nowhere NEAR perfect in any of them. I am continually learning and growing, searching and readjusting my ways or how I think. I even venture to say I haven’t fully grown up yet even though I am well into adulthood.

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But the more I think about it, I really don’t ever want to be “done”, I don’t ever want to have it all figured out or be so smart I no longer need to adjust my way of thinking; where’s the fun in that!?

Stayed tuned for the Happy Husband post!!

Here’s to Being a Happy Wife,

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Liz Jackson